An open letter to youth coaches, teachers, and church leaders
{please feel confident and supported in using any portion of this letter}
I wanted to express my sincere gratitude for all the time and commitment you put into helping my child learn, grow, and develop. You are an incredible example to my child. As a family, we really look up to you. I appreciate your knowledge and expertise. I know that helping kids is one of your greatest passions and it shows. Thank you for helping my child become a better human as they figure out who they want to be. I truly hope that you understand that my intentions behind this letter are coming from a good place.
I know that there is a lot of noise in the world regarding nutrition for kids. But I wanted to let you know that the way we talk about food and weight in our home is very different. Hopefully, these ideas will encourage you to remove, limit, or neutralize all discussions about food or bodies around the children.
Please refrain from any messages that food is good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. We aim to foster an environment that supports body trust. In our home, our children have permission to eat as much as they’d like from what is served or what is available. We don’t encourage them to eat their food in a certain order and we frequently eat dessert with our meals.
As a coach, please keep your instruction to improving athletic ability through movement and coaching. Please don’t enforce rules around limiting or avoiding foods such as sugar to increase performance. I understand that you want your athletes’ bodies to perform efficiently well but this can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food. Often, this type of mentality contributes to obsessively thinking about food, poor body image, restricting and binging, and eating disorders.
As a church leader, please continue to foster spiritual growth through important life experiences. Please avoid attaching morality to food and body image. Please don’t make comments about how much or what my child eats at church youth activities. Please step in when other kids are talking about weight or dieting. Please reinforce the idea that all bodies are good bodies.
In the end, it is my role as a parent to provide food for my child through regular feeding experiences. It is up to them to eat the food offered and how much. As a youth leader, your responsibility is to be an example and role model in their life. I appreciate that role greatly. However, it’s not your job to teach them about nutrition. No matter how well-intentioned, it can cause harm.
Thank you for your understanding,
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